The internet is spent, exhausted, and fundamentally misreading the latest headline hitting the global celebrity-culture nexus. Yesterday, Hollywood eccentric and screen icon Nicolas Cage sat down for a definitive retrospective interview, casually dropping the revelation that he legally changed his name early in his career to drop "Coppola" because he refused to remain "the clown cousin" of cinema royalty on audition sheets. The PR rollout and subsequent aggregators are runnin